As of now, I have 1,103 Facebook friends. Not all of them are active, and I’m sure at least a few of them are deactivated accounts that, for some reason, remain on my friends list. I don’t talk to all of them; I add people I think seem like cool people and for some reason I have this really weird fear of defriending people. I feel like I’m ‘burning a bridge’ if I do and that I’ll regret it. I only defriend the really creepy people who add me. Other than that, I don’t defriend at all. And because of that, I have a lot of friends who annoy me. Yes, a lot of my complaints are petty. But they bother me, so I’m going to write about them here to vent about them. Note that I’m talking about what they do, not the specific person. Another disclaimer: I’m not including people who do these things to be funny or parody something else. I’m talking about people who are genuinely too ignorant/naive to know better.
1. People who like their own statuses. For some reason, this irks me to no end. I have a few friends who do it. I know it’s wrong to be judgmental, but I’ve noticed that the ones who do it are kind of the more ignorant friends I have. I really don’t see the point in it.
2. The extremely gullible ones. Now, I will admit, for my first month or two on Facebook I fell into this category–I was barely 14, I was new to the internet (I’d had an email account for 5 years, but since the internet time was divided between me and my parents I didn’t get a chance to check it much, and I really only did when I was worried about a depressed and sometimes suicidal friend), and I was pretty gullible (there was some drama the summer before because of that). I friended a few ‘celebrities’–and in hindsight I have no idea how I found them–and my mom eventually made me delete them. Anyway, at this point I was 14 and new to Facebook. I currently have a Facebook friend who’s been on the site for at least 3 1/2 years and she’s STILL adding celebrities. I’m seriously not sure why, since each of the ones she friends have at least 4 different accounts. In the past week, she hasn’t had less than 400 people on her ‘recently added’ list. It annoys me. It really does. It’s not my business and I know that. But it’s annoying all the same.
3. Ignorant people. I’m just going to lump all of the ignorance into one post. I have some friends that come from a county that has the same name as a town. Some of the people I went to school with couldn’t differentiate. Instead of listing ‘Russell County High School’ under education, they just put ‘Russell High School’. Then there’s the ones who can’t spell. They annoy me too, because I don’t see what’s so hard about some of the words they use. Speaking of that, there’s also people who use the wrong words. ‘Quite’ instead of ‘quiet’, ‘ideals’ instead of ‘ideas’…it never stops.
4. The relationship tramp(s). I put the s because a relationship is two-sided and they both egg it on. Basically, this is the couple that will write on their significant other’s wall and tell them how much they love them. Then the one tagged comments back ‘I love you more!’ and it’s a comment battle for dozens of comments. It’s really sickening.
5. Misusing the word ‘hack’ and alternatives. Something I don’t get is when a person impersonates someone else, they only take their name, profile picture, and maybe public info they can get, or are on their friends list. Every time I’ve seen that happen, the victim changes their password. Maybe I’m wrong (though in this case I doubt it), but being able to snag someone else’s public info to pretend to be them is NOT hacking. It annoys me so much and I don’t know why. Another example of that is when a someone is on their friend’s/significant other’s account and they say something like ‘Hacked by ur boo! I love you!’ or something similar. I very highly doubt that the person actually ‘hacked’ the account. I don’t think it counts as hacking if you gave them your password.
6. Pointless comments. A couple of months ago, I got a new phone. I made a post and said what make and model it was so my friends could look it up if they were curious on its appearance. This guy I’m friends with hijacked the status to talk about how bad cell phones were and how they should be banned and landlines should be the only telephone communication we have. When I pointed out that when I go out somewhere, it reassures me to know I have a phone in case of an emergency. He suggested–completely seriously–that if I was so worried of getting lost or something because I wasn’t with my parents, I should just follow them around everywhere. I don’t think I need to explain why that’s stupid. Another instance (with the same person) was when I offered a life lesson that if you aren’t familiar with a fandom name, you probably aren’t in it. He comments ‘Nah, I consider myself a Whovian.’ I have no idea what the point of that comment was.
7. Totally unrelated and off-topic comments. I get that sometimes a subject strays–recently I made a status about the download speeds of PCs 20 years ago. It strayed into the subject of jaywalking after a couple dozen comments. I’m talking about when random comments are posted that seriously have nothing to do with anything. Like when you make a status about something funny your child/sibling did and someone comments ‘Did you get my email? I was hoping to receive an answer by now.’ There are at least 2 other ways of communicating that–wall post and PM. I just don’t understand why people can’t figure that out.
8. People who try to make amends for a misspelling or grammar mistake in a comment or post when there’s very clearly an edit button. This one is fairly self-explanatory. I don’t have access to Facebook mobile, but I know for a fact that on a computer, you can EASILY edit a comment or status if you mess up. I see so many posts where the poster will post something lengthy, then put an *and correct a word that’s really hard to notice anyway due to the length. People who comment will do that too.
9. The ones who share EVERYTHING. I’m sure that you know this type–they see some picture with a scary person that says ‘If you don’t share this with 5 people (s)he’ll come for you and murder you’ then proceeds to offer an example. The most recent chain post I saw from a friend is the one that said Bill Gates was giving away $5,000 to anyone who shared a picture of him and a piece of paper with a clearly Photoshopped message explaining this. The prayer pictures irk me too. I used to do those, just because they were easy, but there’s seriously no point. The ‘like and share if you’re going to heaven, ignore for hell’ and other similar ones are even worse.
10. Facebook gamers. I played Facebook games quite often a few years ago. Eventually I got over it. I still enjoy real video games–PC, console, and handheld–but it annoys me when I’m getting Facebook game requests. I have almost 300 invitations from one particular person who won’t stop sending me requests. I’ve had others too, but not recently. Though I do occasionally see wall posts they share, needing something for Farmville.
11. The mass taggers. This isn’t as much of an issue for me, but it has happened recently, so it’s going on the list. This is usually a half-assed advertisement ploy put on by your friends. In most cases, they tag you (and 99 of their other friends) to show off something they posted. They also do this when they send you page invitations. I don’t know what their MO is, but they’ll keep doing it until they listen when people say they don’t want to be tagged, you untag yourself, or you unfriend them.
12. The people who keep the ‘first world problems’ issue alive. These are the people who talk about being broke, but they have really nice things. And I don’t mean teenagers who depend on their parents for everything. A year or two ago, I had a Facebook friend who was not only #9, he also whined about his life all the time. The last straw for me was when he didn’t want to cut his hair, so he made a status and told everyone to like it so his mom wouldn’t make him get it cut. She commented that he was getting a haircut and that was final. I don’t recall exactly what I said, as it was deleted and I was blocked, but later I got on my sister’s account and checked out his post and I wasn’t the only one to tell him to get over himself; it was just a freaking haircut.
13. The #hashtaggers. These are the people who take pictures and put every single possible hashtag on them. Yes, a lot of the time it’s Instagram photos. But are all the tags really necessary? It kinda makes you seem desperate to be noticed. The worst hashtags are the ones that contain a whole sentence. I’m really good at reading–I can read with weird spacing, upside-down, backwards, forwards, etc, but this is ridiculous. I don’t like doing that.
14. The ‘swag’ group. This is the group of people (usually teens) who post pics of themselves doing weird or inappropriate poses. For example, today I saw one of a girl I met through my cousin sitting with a young child (probably a niece–she was no older than 5 or 6) flipping the bird. Both of them. I’m 19 and I’ve never been able to do it. I just physically can’t force myself to do that. Swag girls do stuff like that, duckface, posing in a seductive way under the guise of ‘Hey, check out how fit I am now!’ or bragging about a haircut. Swag guys do stuff like flex to show off their muscles, also use their middle fingers, and do all sorts of other poses you can Google (‘dumb poses guys do’ worked for me).
That’s all I can think of to complain about right now. If I ever find anything else I’ll make a part 2.
UPDATE: Part 2 is done and posted! You can find it here: 14 More Annoying Things My Friends Do On Facebook